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Keep in touch with my latest thoughts on areas of personal development and psychology

Growth and transformation isn't always plain sailing

Uncategorized Jul 27, 2022

Many coaches and trainers will talk about change and transformation as if it's an easy, simple thing everyone should want and will find easy to attain.

One of the things I like to do in this space is be honest with others about how sometimes change and transformation of your life can have side effects.

Recently I've been altering aspects of my life to shift the way I communicate professionally with the people I work with. I'm enjoying some side effects one can expect from making such shifts.

I used the Presuppositions Circle exercise to shift my perspective on a recurring problem I've had over and over again. Which led to me realising the part I play in negative interactions I've been experiencing. The thing I love about learning my part in a problem is that it allows me to change my responses to something, which leads to a magnificent change that is life-altering...

The side effects? Other people get annoyed that I am not responding in the way they would like me to.., but...

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Asking good questions

questions Jul 18, 2022

The Art of the Key Question


Here are some of the most useful meta-questions to ask yourself when you want to know the best question to ask next:

“What is the most useful question I can ask, right now?”

“What don’t I know yet that could make the most difference?”

“What is the most useful way to think about this?”

“What wants to happen here, and which question is the key?”

“What question can I ask that will best serve the other person?”

“Are they unconsciously marking which part to ask about?”

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Weakening limiting beliefs

beliefs Jul 18, 2022

Weaken your limiting beliefs

List on a separate sheet 10 beliefs you have about yourself which are empowering and 10 which are limiting. 


Circle your three most empowering beliefs and notice what it is that makes these beliefs so empowering. 


Circle the most limiting and start weakening them by considering these questions: 


1        How is this belief ridiculous? 


2        Who did you learn this belief from, and would you still want to learn this from them? 


3        What will it ultimately cost me if I do not change this belief 

  • emotionally? 
  • physically? 
  • financially? 
  • spiritually? 


4        What will it cost my loved ones if I do not change this belief?

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Protecting your energy, focusing your mindset

energy freeadvice May 26, 2022

Focus your mindset, Protect your energy

Hi, my name is Darren Shaw, a psychologist, hypnotist, NLP change worker and mindset coach from London, UK. I teach professionals how to optimise their mindset and energy so they can up their game and unlock your true potential


I consciously choose whom I allow to remain in my space; why? Because humans are giant magnets, with electromagnetic energy vibrating from all that electrochemical activity whizzing through every cell in the body. When you align with people and things that do not serve you, you are at the effect of their vibration… hold that for a second.


When I must go into a space which I know is not for me… I imagine a circle of white light around me, protecting me from those and that which would dim my light in the world.


When people start conversations with me, I don’t want to be in I take a deep breath and remind myself that this too shall pass, and I tune out a little bit before...

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Uncategorized Mar 31, 2022

Your business and life are as they are now because of the variety of life choices you have made and continue to make.

If you want your situation to be different, you have to change something you are doing and make your operations different, so where to start?

Be realistic. One of the common errors people make when speaking about their problems is they over exaggerate what the problem is. I recently talked to an entrepreneur who told me that their business is making no money. On asking many questions and digging into the actual issues, it turned out that the company is making some money because they made two sales within the last month; however, this isn't enough money to sustain the business, and it's expensive. But using languaging such as the company is making no money is what was blocking the business owner from being able to look at the situation realistically and then move from, thereby creating a pathway to solutions.

Get at cause. Whatever is wrong with your business is a...

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Quitting my corporate Training job, money mindset shift

When I started being an entrepreneur last year, I had one mindset before, and I had another Mindset after.

And then, with the mindset that I had after, I made loads and loads of mistakes. And I kept losing money. I was losing hundreds; I was losing 1000s Because I didn't know what I was doing. And one of those mistakes that I made was I said in my marketing, "come and get coaching with me".

And in the beginning, I was like, oh yeah, just $100 an hour as American dollars. Some people wanted my coaching and who came along, saw my pricing on my website saying, um, $100, and they were like, "Is that all? Are you sure? 

Some people weren't laughing at me, and a few people helped me understand that people in America who are therapists and coaches, if they're charging $100 per hour, then that's the bargain. Basement bucket, chicken bucket, KFC press, McDonald's. That's the cheap people.

And then, at the opposite end of that to the extreme, you've got people charging...

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What is NLP?

An approach to modeling subjective experience

NLP started out as a mission shared by Richard Bandler & John Grinder. And even before that with Frank Pucilik and other names that have been lost to time and storytelling.

NLP went on to have multiple definitions depending on who a practitioner was trained by and when. Bandler is very much is chaos

Neuro-linguistic programming is a meta-discipline. This means at the highest level that it's an approach that allows the practitioner to look at other disciplines and 'model' the practices, beliefs, behaviors of others and how they do things subjectively.

At the lower levels of understanding, NLP =  sales skills, or coaching skills, or influencing skills...

But these are just skills and NLP isn't a skill.. it is the thing that modeled the skills.

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nlp self_sabotage Nov 23, 2021

Terms that may be useful to help you make a shift in your self-sabotage

  • Beliefs

embodied and cognitive Generalisations we make about the world and ourselves

  • Strategies

step by step sequences of behavior, both internal and external, which lead us to a particular outcome

  • States

Emotional, biological, and psychological moods can shift from one moment to the next. At any given moment, you are in a ‘state.’

  • Visual, auditory, kinaesthetic

Memories and experiences a stored inside our minds in terms of what we have seen, heard and felt.

  • Metaprogrammes

Unconscious programs that exist outside of our awareness OneDrive towards perceiving things in one way or another

  • Well-formed outcome

any future based result stated in the positive, genuinely wanted by the individual, specific in nature based on sensory evidence, and is within your power to achieve without the approval or assistance of others

  • Perceptual positions

when you look at something from your perspective,...

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Making changes

Uncategorized Oct 10, 2021

One of the things that I've realised is true to me during the pandemic is that I need to alter my environment according to the goals I am pursuing.

I am taking my company and the services I provide in a New Direction at the time of writing. I've been looking at all of the offers I present and the coaching service I offer, and I've made some significant realisations about what it is I'm not looking for 4vs what it is I am 

When you are making essential life changes, it can be imperative to make sure that you have decided on the identity you wish to adopt in the moments while changes are being made in line with the Robert Dilts model neurological levels.

The NL levels model demonstrates that if you change at the level of identity, you will impact your beliefs and values, capabilities and skills, behaviour on the inside and outside and the environment around you.

Many forget that the environment also includes the people you allow yourself F2 to share energy with and...

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pivot Aug 30, 2021

In the field of NLP I’ve always been interested in following the path set before us by the co-founders who made this field possible. What this means Is a consistent search for identifying geniuses and learning what I can from them in order to become as excellent as I can.

One of my biggest achievements in the NLP field Is being a speaker at international conferences. Being accepted to speak at events where I can be amongst some of the biggest names in the game, walking side by side with Robert Dilts discussing stuff over a coffee, asking L Michael Hall why he is so naughty and rebellious, meeting David Shepherd and asking him questions, getting close to Judith DeLozier and Judy Lowe to ask clean killer questions that help me understand a thing. Its like a kids chocolate factory, but for NLP excellence.

The pandemic ended my conference speaking career, so I decided to pivot into delivering online training. Spent most of the pandemic finding out how that all works and...

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